What is YOUR weapon of choice??

I've been considering taking up a weapon. You know, one that I can carry to defend myself, kill irriating people, kill enemies, or perhaps use for a new hobby, like serial killing. So...I've been thinking about what KIND of weapon to use. As far as I can see there are two practical choices: gun or sword. Now let's look at the advantages and disadvantages of both!

The Gun


Now the gun is a handy weapon. I can get a small one that I can carry in my little purse and have it to use at anytime. Rude people in line, road rage, some smart ass bitch pisses me off. A gun also has long range abilities. I mean they really can't run away cause you can always shoot them in the leg and then finish them off in what ever manner you wish. ok so its very portable and has range. But....they can be kinda messy. I mean, there is a certain amount of peverse pleasure in pointing a gun at someone's forehead and firing at point blank range but bullets are explosive devices. And when they explode, blood, brains and other bodily fluids have a tendency to cover a good amount of the surrounding area. So there would always be a big mess to clean up. They can also be traced as a gun leaves some groove marks on the bullet and they can figure out what
gun it came from. Plus they can make a lot of noise which can be distracting and/or disturbing to those standing around. And most states require a license to own one and its kind of a big deal to carry one in your purse. Concealed weapon law or something. The city bus says something about not bringing concealed weapons on the bus. But if you asked me, if someone is carrying
a weapon CONCEALED would they actually obey a sign that tells them not to? And does that mean you can carry a weapon as long as its in the open? Or do you have to have another license to do that? Ok..so good points about a gun: Handy and portable, long range. Bad points: Messy and noisy, lots of laws to consider.

The Sword



The sword is a great weapon. They are very cool looking being all steel and shiny. And anyone looks cool carrying one. The one good thing about a sword is that its very clean. You can slice and dice someone without blood, brains, and other bodily fluids flying all over the place. Sure, they will bleed but generally just in one spot. So its not a huge area to clean up. Another good
thing is that you don't have to have a license to have a sword. You can buy them at the Medieval Fair as long as you are at least 18. You can get them at the Pawn shops, on line, just about anywhere. I don't know much about laws concerning the carrying of swords on buses and at the Wal Mart but there may well be one or two that restricts that. But hey...as long as its peace
tied there shouldn't be a problem. Now to the not so good side of swords. They really are not very portable. I can't put it in my purse and carry it around. Would that be considered a conceal weapon? Anyway, everyone would know that I have a sword and there would be no element of surprise when someone pisses me off. Big disadvantage there. Now while i'm sure there is an element of perverse pleasure in slicing, dicing, and sinking your blade into someone's
gut, the sword really has a small range. So they know that you are carrying the sword and when you pull it out to slice and dice them they run off. Then you have to chase them. And that's tiring. But i don't think that a sword can be traced as easily as a gun. So good points about the sword: Its clean, untraceable, cool looking, easy to get and no licenses to carry. Bad points: No element of surprise, short range, not portable.

So which should I choose?